By Syarifah Hadli
It was one of those normal nights where I happily surfing the net and at the same time busy managing my personal blog when all of the sudden an uncivilized person, a man, I believe, left me a very disturbing and petty sexist slur. I was taken aback by it. It’s not as if I am not used to dirty words or whatsoever. But the fact that I have left this childish name-calling game years ago about the same time I left my pre-puberty days, made me feel like soo old fashioned when an incredibly anonymous man came in and posted a sexist slur that includes the female private part. Anyways, you are not really anonymous lah Mr Babisayang (as he named himself and no I didn’t make this up). I know you’re from some ceruk in Puchong, Selangor. 60.48.186.# is your IP address and (smirk) guna dial-up ke bang? Pathethic. Thank you technology. Anyways, I gotta thank him for being childish because if he didn’t, I will still be scratching my head right now, wondering what else to write for kasikampus.
This occurrence really makes me wander, how far can a person go in harassing us, sexually. Does sexual harassment means something only when verbal touches are involved? What about the non-verbal ones? What about making funny mouse-like sound every time a girl passes by? What about commenting about the voluptuous figure of an unassuming passer by out loud? What about winking endlessly to a woman who looks terribly have zero interest at you? On a more personal note, as long as a woman is offended and felt extremely uncomfortable by your actions, you have committed a sexual harassment towards her. You may think there is no harm in calling her sayang or adik manis when she’s obviously not related to you in any way, but she might not feel the same. She might think it’s completely not okay for you to call her sayang unless she’s married to you. Women have the right to feel free and at peace whenever she steps out of her house and into the real world where various type of people lurking at every inch of this world. I know not one woman that feel honored when she was given the lustful stares and dissipated smiles from strangers who looks like he is more than eager to strip you down that instant and what more if you are called names.
I think our people are still not aware that they are offending women everyday in their sad lives. They are unaware that their actions are much loathed by women. Funny thing is, we women are helplessly succumbed to this kind of harassment, verbally or non-verbally. We never lash out to those men who downgraded us. We chose to be silent and stick to the “tidak apa” attitude. I mean, I know you are offended, big time, when those guys with brain smaller than their d*** started to make that annoying smoochy-kissy sound in hope that you will throw a glance at them. Some of you might turned you head in their way automatically only to see them smiling with their wide icky teeth sticking out like disorderly Popsicle sticks, because your head is programmed to turn your head in respond to that kind of sound. Some of us might resort to technology to ward off unwanted harassment. For instance, I plug my ears with earphones and setting the volume of my CD player at the max every time I walk out of the door. Nothing beats the feeling when I successfully ignored any stranger trying to pick me up with silly pick up lines. If I were to walk alone sans my CD player, I’ll be dead halfway through. Yes. I am guilty for being ignorant towards the harassments. What can a girl possibly do? Make a police report every single time when she was stared or every time she feels annoyed or harassed? The only thing that I am sure the police officer might offer her is to tell her to go back and straighten up her PMS. Who would take us seriously?
When it comes to sexual education, we Malaysians are a badly informed lot. Sexual education does not necessarily mean to show our children how to do it. And if we didn’t educate them about sex or even sexual intercourse, they will eventually learn it the easy way, the DVD way. And I guess that’s where 99% of Malaysian population learns what and where to insert whatever it is to be inserted. Sex education is more than that. It is more than penis and vagina. Telling what part is okay to be touch by people and what part are strictly off limits is one of the early sex education that we can give to our children. I am not being oh-so-modern shits and all but, I wonder why we are so afraid of the word sex. It’s a taboo to speak openly about sex. Yes, we are the eastern people living in the east where the most polite people on earth are claimed to be, living in this piece of land. Tell me, if we are so polite, then why are kids being kidnapped, raped and eventually killed? Why do our so-called educated menteri uses the F word in the parliament? If we are so polite, then why Kempen Budi Bahasa is necessary? Isn’t it ironic?
Any person who fights for sex education to be inserted into the syllabus as a part of the education will be considered as insensitive and critiqued as being slightly too western-thinking. We Malaysians claim ourselves to be the oh-so-advanced-and-the most-open-minded-people-in-the-east, but still, we can’t even tolerate Faizal Tahir’s infamous shirt off incident and what more sex education being introduced to the youngsters. It’s proven. We are not so open-minded after all.
I’m rooting for a change. Are you in?
haha sorry this reminded me of the good old days chatting in Mirc. alotta old perverts there.
yep there is a need for us to specifically define “sexual harassment”, esp in public universities.
Do u know that USM does not a have sexual assault/rape policy? that means, rape and sexual assault is NOT recognized as a crime in USM?
maybe you would like to write on that?
Woowww u go gurl!! Hate all this strangers Suckss!!
There’s nothing wrong with ’sex’ education (there! i said THAT word). Ok maybe bcoz i was brought up in a ‘not yet post-imperialist era’ that influence me into who i am now. Still, i can consider myself lucky that there are certain things my parents manage to teach me indirectly about ‘IT’ that made me know a lil bit of it and find out from other source w/out experimenting it. Its how ‘they’ tell me without telling me(borrowing from Sepet)
In this case, we just have to look at ourselves. There’s been a deteroiting of faith among any religion, increasingly some just don’t believe in anything except themselves.The family, the teaching,the surrounding,the friends we choose, the Self itself to resist and know their own borders, to be independent and know the limits of their own freedom which will still goes back to our own responsibilty.
Before this we dont need sex education,what more hubungan etnik? And now we even need keusahawanan, khidmat masyarakat when all they do is salin nota and make a project that can sell but most of them end up buying their own product just to get the marks. From what i see, its more like a ‘reaction’ that there is a ‘need’ for such an such just bcoz such and such is happening when all they have to do is look at themselves and start from the root of problem not merely creating another syllabus to finish, another subject to study, without understanding the situation and the cause of it. Even moral they have to teach and what benefit it gives when u only end up absorbing all the notes and get A out of it and not the practical part that is more crucial?
The thing is,we have to go back from the basic. Most of us fail to understand the true meaning of their own religion, the teaching of it, even myself are still searching for the ‘truth’.
Islam for instant,there’s just too many ‘mazhab’ (pandangan of well known imam) when the important thing is to understand two things: Qoran & Sunnah. When Qoran should be the first thing to understand while the sunnah is just a bonus if we do it but its okay if we dont. Still in general, we tend to go for sunnah more than what states in the Qoran. Even those who studied Islam for years could not really understand the teaching and some simply ignore it (and us mostly 11 years of p.islam but just study to score).
Had we understand, i mean ‘really’ understands and apply Islam in our daily lives, the fact of having the instinct of doing such sin we would already fear the consequences of it. That we are born as ‘khalifs’ – the leader. What makes a leader? What is our responsibility we carry as a leader? And the ‘amal maaruf nahi mungkar’ itself says it all that we ‘apply’ what is ‘good’ for us, and ‘avoid’ what is ‘bad’ for us. Meaning, whatever we do have its own consequences and there are responsibilities that comes along with us.
Even in any religion advice us to do good things and dont do bad stuff. Things is, if we want to teach them , how to teach them in a manner that the student can actually understand the effect and responsibility they carry when they involve themselves with such act like what u mentioned. before.
As i mentioned previously, there’s a need for a research to be done before they add anymore stupid syllabus just bcoz this and that therefore theres a need for u to study and get another 20A’s out of it. This research must not just look into the syllabus but also what way and how these students can be taught and approaches that effective enough for them.
Yes, we are not so polite as we see in tv. Its just a machinery of representation by some freaking out goverment who think that they need to show that we are living in such a ‘harmony’ when there’s actually leaks within the patches but still they try to stitch it back. Whats wrong with having different opinion of different party, like we cant think for ourselves..???
My point is, its not just about sex education but the educating part itself. Theres a whole lot of relation between sex education and stuff like how we ‘teach’ through the media, we sensationalize it, ppl googles Edison chen more than Thomas Edison, how the society should response better whenever they see ppl did that and not just close one eye and do nothing (some just talk but no actions except call JAKIM).
Even the way ppl go and ’skodeng’ on ppl in the name of catching ppl doing the ooh & aah’s of other ppls private life is a sin (Watch your ‘eyes’, ‘Guard’ you ‘privates’: Surah An Nur) …
i mean..not that we should not stop the sin but why do u have to go and record it or ‘tangkap basah’ them and force them to get married when they can get their divorce right after they are married? Action was taken but the educating part was ignored. They think they curb the problem but actually they are just putting off one bad mushrooms of them coming out from another.
I have to disagree in some parts u mention, ur view on what kinds of sex education should be taught is correct. The harrassment part, i totally agree. Those ‘monkeys’ are really annoying.
yaa..semua itu sepatutnya meliputi jenis-jenis penyakit yang boleh disebarkan melalui hubungan kelamin contohnya STDs,apa pandangan budaya mengenai sex,hak kita sebagai wanita yang melibatkan gangguan secara seksual dan banyak lagi.seharusnya semua ini diajar dari peringkat kecil lagi.kita seharusnya tahu yang sex education bukan semata-mata mengenai hubungan kelamin kerana ia mempunyai pengetian yang lebih luas lagi.dengan adanya sex aducation ini masyarakat akan lebih aware mengenai child or woman trafficking yang berlaku dengan meluas sekarang ini begitu juga dengan masalah sex worker yang semakin meningkat kini.ini membuatkan pelajar-pelajar memahami corak semasa yang berlaku dimerata tempat supaya mereka aware dengan apa yang berlaku disekitar mereka.lihat sahaja baru-baru ini dua orang rakyat negara kita ditangkap diAuastralis kerana mempunyai file lucah ponography kanak-kanak.kita tidak seharusnya berfikiran secara narrow yang akan merugikan diri kita sendiri dan jangan jadikan pedoman “itu bukan budaya kita”.ingat budaya itu dibentuk oleh manusia untuk meneguhkan kuasa pihak-pihak tertentu.
sakiinah, i totally agree with you with the tangkap basah problem. tapi sekarang, all you have to do is pay a fine.
im just agreeing to what mufti perlis said. dr.asri..
see..even a doctor understands..why are we being so rigid…?
ulama don’t necessarily be good in agama ja..
whatever happen to ulama’s like ibnu sina whoz not just good in agama but maths, chem, art..all rounder..???
p/s: who are u actually nadia..?? usm jugak ke? communication juga? mari bkenal2an hehe
yea i like DR.Asri. check out his websit..its kinda cool, and he talks about a lotta REAL issues without the hollier-than-thou attitude. and sakinah, yes im a usm student, but not frm school of communication la. check out my blog to see my pic
i think ive seen u somewhere.. kat bus stop selalu jumpe kan? pakai tudung belit2.. hehehe…
pelik lah manusia sekarang, suka menyalahkan itu dan ini. tapi, jarang sekali nk membetulkan dan melakukan tindakan.
apakah kita tidak sedar masalah sosial itu semua datan dari sendiri? datang dari kealpaan kita yang tak mahu menegur.. ‘kubur masing-masing’.. last2? masalh tak selesai. kesilapan yang dilakukan menjadi tajuk utama umpatan dan fitnah.
bila la benda mcm ni nak berhenti?
bila org berhenti menyalahkan itu dan ini