By Ng Eng Kiat

Malaysians are living in interesting times. In a democracy where we become democratic once every five years, the buildup to the next orgasmic democratic moment, i.e. elections, in our history cannot be less exhilarating.

For us students, campus polls offer a training ground for democracy every year but sadly, we find ourselves increasingly desensitised when it comes to preserving, much less feeding, that basic responsibility of ours. We are so often told that “politics is dirty” and somehow forget democracy isn’t, nor should it be, dirty.

For the casual observer, campus polls might be a pointless, almost meaningless, fight between highly charged political infants. Some would say these students are but chess pieces on the larger national chess board – representing not students’ interest, but serving, with utmost loyalty, their political idols. It really doesn’t get any more ludicrous than reading that the most prestigious university in the whole of Malaysia this September conducted a “SULIT” survey asking students to rank their favourite “personalities” in a compulsory form.

Then just last Friday, UPM’s security guards raided the room of a student activist on the basis of checking “for a stolen phone.” They left without finding the stolen phone, but “confiscated” 13 items deemed to have implicated this student in “haram” activities. On Monday, UPM VC made public an “astonishing” discovery on their part that the student was suspected of having leaflets produced by ‘unregistered’ organisations and that his laptop contained pornographic material. Incredible.

The VC, Prof Nik Mustapha R Abdullah, said his men acted according to procedure and described the student’s claim that UPM was attempting to intimidate him due to his involvement in student activism as a “lie.”

So, guards go looking for stolen phone, but confiscate 13 items and interrogate the student on his involvement in activism. Student claims UPM is victimising him ahead of campus polls, but the VC counters that his computer has porn. Senseless.

What do these have to do with anything, you ask? Why would you want to care about this, you ask? How petty can this get, you ask?

We’re on the verge of making another world record, you see, the widely acclaimed ‘World’s Pettiest Nation’ award isn’t just accorded to any country, okay?

For Malaysia, the year 2007 is the year the PM remarries, but also the year war criminal President ‘W’ forgets about him. Double misfortune for him, Pak Lah’s estranged predecessor Tun Dr M isn’t yet in the mood to forget.

Next, 2007 is the year Malaysia celebrated her “50th Merdeka”, or is Malaysia still 44?

Then, we still have Little Napoleons roaming free although the PM himself pledged to throw them all in jail. Don’t we remember fruitcakes like Zakaria Mat Deros? Off the hook, 37 charges dropped just like that. And I quote the New Straits Times, “just a RM1,400 fine, when they could have been jailed a maximum of five years and fined up to RM30,000 on each charge.”

If Zakaria is a napoleon, he’s only a tiny machai as compared to newly uncovered monsters like, erm, the highest judge in our country. Yesterday, a video clip was released showing one bigshot lawyer apparently talking dirty to a man with bigshot aspirations by the name of Datuk Ahmad Fairuz back in 2002. Tell me, if promotion of judges can be fixed like that, what separation of powers are we talking about? What injustice!

Top lawyer scratches top judge’s back. Top judge scratches top Minister’s back. Top Minister scratches top businessman’s back. Top businessman scratches top lawyer’s back. Top lawyer scratches top judge’s back.

How do these people influence us? Why bother?

I tell you, these are the very same people who talk about national unity, impartiality of law, social equity, and corporate social responsibility, Malaysia Boleh!

These are the same people who will tell us the Penang Global City Center (PGCC) is good for health. These are the same people who will say the Port Klang Free Zone has aphrodisiac abilities. So powerful that the original estimate of RM1.1 billion in cost has balooned to RM4.6 billion, and so powerful that our Arab partners have ran away!

So, how do all these relate to you and I? What has it got to do with campus polls? The Student Representative Council isn’t going to change the country, but change can start from anywhere! The betterment of society can start in our universities, and the people who represent our students have a moral obligation to represent the concerns of her student body. Do they represent your grievances Aainaa? Do they talk about university admission policies, Shamala? Syarifah? Can we start making them represent us? We can, if we start by exercising our democratic responsibility in choosing the right people as our representatives.

I close with the “shock-a-lingam” conversation. From Malaysiakini:

“No don’t worry, Datuk, I know how much you suffer for Tun Eusoff Chin. And Tun said Datuk Ahmad Fairuz 110% loyalty. We want to make sure our friends are there for the sake of the PM and the sake of the country.

Not for our own interest, not for our own interest. We want to make sure the country come first. Well, you suffered so well, so much you have done. For the election, Wee Choo Keong, everything. How much, no body would have done all these.”

Country’s interest? Not our own interest? Yeah, right.

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Editor’s note: Please feel free to hentam me in the comments section. Abramovich, I need a job, I’m waiting for your call.

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